There you have it, The Question in everyone’s mind. Be it about a blog, a life, a job or a crappy after party at 5am when you know that you should be sleeping comfortably in your own bed already. We all ponder that in some point in our lives and the answer varies as much as the one asking the question.
I’ll tell you why I am here. That’s because I needed to get something out. I’ve lived my life for some 40+ years now. It’s been a good life; ups and downs as it should be. I’ve lived through a happy childhood: wandered the forests, played cowboys and indians, gone to school, to fishing, stared at the clouds. Later I’ve dated, played rock and roll (and dated some more, obviously), drank whiskey as a minor (Jack Daniel’s, because well… Slash you know), got myself a profession, worked at a job, loved and was loved in return, bought a car, moved away from everything (music and wrecked love included). I studied a new profession, worked more, found The One, got married, got a dog, mortgage, kids, short vacation. Got insomnia, stress and shit, revived but finally I became numb. I lost my enthusiasm and curiosity. I kept riding the same tracks everyday, didn’t look left or right, only at my feet. I suppose I passed many opportunities, wonders of life and didn’t even notice or miss them. Only thing left that kept me awake and made me smile was my kids. They mean the world to me. As does their mother, my wife.
Then something happened and I woke up. I am not sure why, what was the source or the catalyst, but I think I’m slowly finding it out. I remember the day it happened. I was walking the dog in a nearby forest and suddenly it hit me: it had been ages since I’ve consciously touched anything alive in nature. I pressed my palm against the bark of a young pine and fell to the ground. I could not keep the tears in check and I didn’t need to. I cried like I hadn’t done in ages. The rush of emotions went by and though it made me stop and think for a while, I shrugged and kept on riding the familiar tracks. Something still stuck in my mind from that day and it came back. It came back to me the past summer which has turned to autumn already.
And that is why I’m here. To tell you and myself about it. To ponder, to find some answers, to do something creative and to analyze my thoughts of life, existence and of music. And hopefully reflect them with you, the world.